Smiling Through The Pain
by LovingPipersBoys
Summary: What do you do when the person you love is the one that's hurting you? Would you be able to give them up or would you hold on for one more day? Jacob/Edward Please read and REVIEW!


**Summary: **What do you do when the person you love is the one that's hurting you? Jacob/Edward Please read and REVIEW!

**Authors Note: **This is an AU story that takes place sometime after New Moon but Edward doesn't propose to Bella.

**Warning: **This story contains Slash (Edward/Jacob) Mpreg, Rape, hurt/comfort and humiliation. Read at your own risk!

Smile Through The Pain

Someone should have told me what it meant to truly and deeply love someone. Someone should have said that sometimes it's more then just your heart, mind, body and soul that you give away. So far I've given up so much to be with him that I've lost count. My heart, my sanity, my friends, my family, my pride and self esteem were just a few of the items that ranked high on my list.

I smile bitterly at the thought.

He's taken away everything and I'm the one who let him. Deep down I know that it's best if I just take our three children and run away. Go off to some far away place and start a new life, just the four of us. But every time I try he invades my thoughts and finds out about my plans to escape right before I feel the cold hardness of his hand collide with my face, a harsh stern voice sending the children back to their rooms. Sometimes he would hit me so hard that he would knock me out cold, my face aching for days on end. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I was strong, stronger then most of the wolves in my pack but yet when it came to him the strength just seemed to melt away leaving a quivering mass of jell-o to hide behind the walls of muscle that cover me from head to toe. He owned me. I knew it, he knew it and the very few people who were in our lives knew it.

Sure Alice, Carlisle and Esme would try and help. They would talk to him often and try to get him to see the damage that he was doing to me and the kids but they could never get thorough to him. He would tell them to mind their own damn business and that we were his family and that he could do whatever he wanted with us. The others just stayed out of it all together or worse, they would try to tell me that he didn't mean it and that he loved me and the kids so much that he let his emotions get the best of him but I knew better.

Edward hated himself for loving me. He never forgave me for imprinting on him, forcing Bella to leave him. She said that she didn't want to stand in the way of what was meant to be and that she didn't want me to die of a broken heart because he had rejected me to be with her. He had gotten so angry that he punched six trees knocking them to the ground, pulling up roots and all. That was the first time that I had ever been scared of him.

At first he treated me horribly. He knew that a part of me loved him and secretly had for a long time before the imprinting occurred and he used it to his advantage. He would come to me in the middle of the night, fuck me brutally and then leave without speaking one single word. He knew that I loved him and wanted us to bond no matter what so I let him come to me, use my body and leave me alone and ashamed. The next day I would see him out with his family and he would walk by me as if nothing had ever happened. Some days he would make remarks about wet dogs in heat causing the others to laugh at my pain. Well all except Alice, Carlisle and Esme. When I found out that I was pregnant I couldn't have been more excited. I knew that the males of my breed were able to have children if they imprinted with another male. However my joy turned into pain when I had to tell my father and my friends and most importantly Edward.

The fall out was dramatic and painful and cost me so much more than I can say. My father was disgusted by the fact that I was with a vampire and was now carrying a child that was in his eyes an abomination. The pack felt the same way. They wanted to jump me, and beat me until I lost the child and once I was back to normal Sam was going to take me as his mate. That's when I had to tell them that I had imprinted on Edward and that a relationship with anyone else would be impossible. That very same day I was thrown out of my house and was lucky to have Carlisle and Esme take me in. At first Edward hated the idea. Not only had I taken Bella away from him but now I was forcing him to father a half breed and live with us all at the same time. But after a while he showed signs of caring. He cooked for me, he sat up with me when our first child Jason wasn't allowing me to get any sleep. We talked every night before going to bed and for a while it felt as if we were going to be happy together just as I had always hoped. Sadly things went from good to very bad once Emmett broke the news about Bella's marriage to Paul of all people.

From then on he became hostile and hurtful. He would tell me that he wished that he had never met me that he hated me and our son. The next day he would come to me and tell me that he was sorry that he was just upset about Bella. Well that was his excuse for a while anyway. After that he would show small signs of love. He would lay my head on his chest and stroke my hair when he thought that I was asleep. He would whisper to our second child Kate Lynn while placing a hand on my swollen stomach and planting a kiss from time to time. It was so confusing. One day he's holding my hand and telling me that he loves me and can't imagine his life without me and the next he's saying the most awful things about me, about our children. The real abuse didn't start until after we had moved out of his family's home and into our own.

One night we were entertaining Emmett and Rose when Emmet made a comment about my ass and I played along. Rose, to my surprise, laughed it off and I thought that Edward did too. That was until later on that night when we were alone.

**Flashback**

_Jacob Black-Cullen was in the shower happy to have a moment for himself. Tonight it was good to have Edward's family over, hang out and watch a few movies with them but after a full day of dealing with the kids and taking care of things at home he was tired and could use a little alone time. It didn't help that he had just found out that he and the love of his life were going to be parents again for the third time. A smile played on his lips as he thought about how happy his mate would be once he found out. _

_Turning off the water the massive brown skinned male stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and started drying off his heavily chiseled body. For a second he groaned thinking about how hard he had to work to get his body back the last time Edward knocked him up but he ignored this thought of vanity. He was just happy to become a Dad again. Wrapping the towel around his waist he headed into the master bedroom to find his husband sitting on the bed in just his boxers. He was all set to talk dirty and force his lover to give him want his body craved but the look on the man's face stopped him._

"_Edward babe, what's wrong?" he questioned._

_A chill went up his spine when he saw the look in the man's eyes. He knew that look. It meant that the vampire was pissed off about something he did. Again. And when Edward got angry he got violent. _

_The pale skinned man slowly got to his feet and walked over to where his lover stood, forcing the man to step back until his back was pushed firmly up against the wall. The vampire continued until there was barely enough room for the man to breathe. He didn't understand what he could have possibly done wrong this time._

"_You know what you did you, you fucking bastard" the man's voice was like silk only deadlier. _

"_What you're talking about?"_

_A hard slap to the face sent the wolf's head snapping painfully to the right. It was followed by a shot to the ribs. Jacob was so shocked he didn't know how to respond to this sudden physical aggression. _

"_You want him don't you?"_

"_I want who Edward? I don't know what you're talking about. You're not making any sense" Jacob spoke through the pain._

"_My brother you dick! I saw the way that you kept looking at him. I heard the comment that he made about your ass and you loved it. I guess I'm not good enough for you now, is that it? Now you want him. Why, because of his body? Do you like it? Do you like how strong and big he is? Have you been thinking about what it would be like to fuck him?"_

_Jacob couldn't believe his ears. _

"_What the hell has gotten into you" _

_The young wolf was shook to the core by the glare that he received._

"_What about me? Am I not supposed to be angry when you are about to tear this family apart to satisfy your animal lust?" the older male snickered._

_Jacob felt sick to his stomach. He only hoped that his children were asleep and couldn't hear the accusations or the language being thrown his way._

"_Listen to me Edward. I don't know what the hell has gotten into you but this has got to stop now. I love you and you know it. I don't want anyone else but you in my life. What happened tonight with Emmett was just harmless fun. Neither one of us meant anything by it so can we please just go to be and forget about this?"_

_Edward smiled a wicked grin before leaning in close and placing his lips less then an inch from Jacobs ear._

"_Not before I put all thoughts of him out of your mind for good"_

_Before he could say anything Jacob was being pulled roughly towards their bed. He was then thrown down in a way that he had never thought possible and then flipped over onto his stomach. Part of him knew that the vampire was strong but he didn't remember him ever being this strong._

"_What the hell are you doing?" he yelled with a hint of panic in his voice trying to shake the man that had his arms pinned to either side of his head._

"_Shut up mutt. It's time you learn a lesson about how to treat the real man of the house"_

_The pain that shot through him was unbearable. Edward had forcefully pushed his way into Jacob's opening causing him to yell out in pain. Without lube or gentle preparation the friction of Edward moving in and out of him was burning him, feeling as if a razor were tearing his asshole apart. Tears were streaming down his face and soaking into the pillow, causing his long hair to stick to his face. Some pain he could deal with but Edwards ruthless and cruel treatment of him broke his heart. He couldn't believe that someone he loved so much could hurt him so badly._

"_I want you to listen to me closely." Edward spoke breathing heavily "Death will come to any other person that you ever think about so you better direct your love and lust towards me and only me from now on. You need to remember that you're mine wolf and you always will be. I own you, forever!"_

_With a few more hard painful thrust Edward filled him with his semen, his body shaking violently at the explosion as the dark haired male trembled and whimpered beneath. After a few minutes he removed himself from a still hurting Jacob who instantly turned his back to him and moved as far to the other side of their bed as possible. However a cold, possessive arm dragged him back into his husband's chest, holding him tightly in place as Edward closed up the gap between them. Jacob heard the man breathing in his scent deeply before laying gentle kisses on his neck as if nothing bad had just occurred. _

_Out of nowhere the man spoke through a shaky voice, uncertain as to why he thought that this was a good time to speak "I'm pregnant"_

_Part of him was hoping that this would soften the man laying in back of him and bring him back to his senses. Maybe he would even apologize to him and tell him that he's sorry for what he had done and promise to never do it again._

_Sadly this wasn't the case._

"_That's nice. Now go to sleep. Round two will be in three hours"_

_Hurt, disappointed, angry and defeated Jacob Black-Cullen silently cried himself to sleep._

**End Of Flashback**

I never thought that my world could ever be so fucked up.

I mean I could shape shift at any time and kill him without breaking too much of a sweat but some how I just can't find the strength to do so. No matter how many times he has hurt me or taken advantage of me I could never lift a finger to hurt him and it killed me to know that he could hurt me so easily.

I jump the second that I hear him call my name. I had been sitting in the den trying to concentrate on healing after another beating. My body ached all over and I wasn't ready to feel the pain again. However I could tell what was going to happen next by the sound of his voice. It was the same thing that always happened.

He entered the den with his hands in is pockets looking down at the floor as he slowly made his way over to me and kneeled down in front of me, taking my hands into his own. When he finally looked up he had that look in his eyes that made me fall in love with him time and time again. I was weak, I knew it, but that didn't stop me from hating myself for it.

"I'm so sorry Jake. You know that I didn't mean it, right? I just lost my temper." his voice was low and soft like a child that was unsure of himself.

But I knew better, I guess I just didn't care. I knew that he wasn't going to change. I also knew that he wasn't going anywhere and neither was I even though I should.

"Yeah I know" were the only words that would come out of my mouth. I had said it so many times that I could do it on queue and in my sleep.

The worse part was that I knew that our kids were watching and I hated for them to see me like this.

"Listen I'm going to try to do better, for you, for me, for all of us. You'll see. Everything's going to be fine, we can even go out tomorrow. You know the car show is in town and I know how much you've been wanting to go to one. So we'll make it a family trip."

I could see him through glazed over eyes as he smiled at me and drew me in for a kiss so forceful that I'm sure it left bruises on the back of my neck. Moving to sit by me he called for the children to come to us.

Jason, Kate Lynn and Brandon strolled in, instantly looking at me to make sure that it was safe to approach. Jason sat on the other side of me, glaring at his father and I did my best to make sure that Edward didn't see it. Kate Lynn planted herself between me and Edward and Brandon placed himself in his father's lap.

As he spoke to us and tried to reassure us of how much he loved us and that he only wanted what was best for our family I did my part by sitting back, saying nothing and smiling through the pain.


End file.
